One Bright Morning
by phonusbalonus
Summary: After the Walter Briggs trial ends, Nick does some serious thinking about who would make medical decisions for him if he were unable to make them for himself. A Rollaro friendship (no romance) ONE-SHOT. [post December Solstice fic]


_I think that I have one or two more Rollaro stories left in me before I call it quits on writing Rollaro fanfic. I thought of the idea for this story after I read the recent WL TV Guide article that updated us on the current state of Rollaro. I wanted to write something which explored the friendship and trust of Rollaro rather than the steamy, passionate side. I would be lying if I said that the leaked season finale photos didn't influence me when I wrote this._

 _As for the season finale itself…hope for the best…expect the worst!_

 _This is my first time attempting present tense (it was an experiment) writing, so please be kind. I am sure that I made mistakes._

* * *

Nick stands outside of Amanda's apartment with a large black plastic bag dangling from his left hand. He comes bearing Thai food which he and Amanda will eat for dinner. Nick nervously runs his free hand through his dark hair and then rings the doorbell. Nick only waits for a few seconds before Amanda opens the door with a big grin on her face. She is barefoot, wearing faded jeans and a forest green button down shirt.

"Come in! I'm starving."

Nick sets the plastic bag down on the kitchen counter before bending down to kiss Amanda on the cheek. The kiss is fraternal in nature, but there is a tenderness in it that makes Amanda feel happy. However, when Nick pulls away from her, she notices a crease in his forehead. Amanda knows that something is weighing on Nick's mind, but she chooses not to pry as she wants this to be a light evening.

"How was traffic?" Amanda asks.

"Surprisingly, not bad for a Saturday night," Nick replies and then quickly changes the subject. "Before we dig in to the food, there is _something_ that I want to talk about." _Here_ it comes.

"Oh?" Amanda says nonchalantly, trying to pretend to be surprised. "Should I sit down?"

"If you want."

Amanda remains standing.

"I've been thinking about the Briggs trial all weekend," Nick says. Amanda doesn't want to talk shop tonight, but it seems as if one of their recent cases is still taking up real estate in Nick's brain.

"What aspect of it?" Amanda asks.

"The battle between his wife and his kids over his medical care."

"It got pretty ugly, didn't it?" Amanda comments while reaching into the fridge for two bottles of Singha. She holds one of the beers out to Nick. "Is this okay?"

Nick just nods his head, taking the brown bottle from Amanda before sitting down at her kitchen table. He picks up the bottle opener that is laying by the salt shaker and uses it to deftly flick off the cap of the Singha. "Yea, it _did_ get ugly. Truthfully, it got me thinking about who would make decisions about me if something happened."

Amanda is taken aback. Why is Nick talking like this? Now, she _does_ sit down–slumping into the kitchen chair that is closest to her. Nick sees the impact that his words have on his companion.

"Why are we talking about this? Are you going somewhere?" Amanda asks gingerly.

The corners of Nick's mouth curl up and his eyelids scrunch up in amusement. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere…just thinking about the future. You know, before the divorce, Maria would have been making those kind of decisions."

Amanda doesn't like talking about Nick's ex-wife, but the subject matter of this particular conversation merits her patience and her understanding.

"Well, now that your divorce is final, I would guess medical care decisions would revert back to your mom, right? She is your closest next of kin who is an adult." This is logical to Amanda and it seems to be only right.

Nick takes a small sip of beer. "That's just the thing. I don't want it to."

Amanda cocks her head slightly to the left as confusion fans over her face. "Are you saying that you _don't_ want your mother to be your power of attorney in medical emergencies?"

"Not after the way she treated me during my dad's trial."

Amanda has a strained relationship with her own mother, so she more than understands Nick's complicated feelings regarding his mom. However, she knows that Nick loves his mother deeply. Consequently, she is dismayed to see that the fractured mother-son relationship hasn't quite healed yet.

"Nick, fights come and go. She _is_ your mother. She _loves_ you. Don't take something like this away from her."

"It's not just about what happened during the trial. She's hardcore Catholic; she would let me stay on life support for twenty years even if I were in a coma. She wouldn't honor my wishes. Maria and I didn't always see eye to eye on everything, but at _least_ she and I agreed on thoughts about end of life care."

Hearing Nick talk about _end of life care_ –Nick, who is a healthy man in his early 40's–seems particularly morbid to Amanda. Isn't this something to start thinking about maybe 30 years from now?

"Perhaps if you explain what you want to your mother, she _would_ honor your wishes."

"No, I tried having this conversation with her when I was shot back in 2013."

The longer this little talk drags on the more disquieted Amanda becomes. "Nick, I've got to be honest with you. This is an uncomfortable conversation. Are you okay? Should I be concerned?"

Nick has no plans to off himself but he can see how Amanda might perceive the topic. He places a calming hand on Amanda's right forearm.

"I'm okay. Don't worry. It's just that between Walter Briggs and Barba's grandma passing away, I really started to think about these issues. When you think about it, compared to your average Joe, as cops, our chances of being in a life threatening situation are statistically higher. I shouldn't need to remind _you_ of that." Amanda knows from personal experience that this is true. Just one month after Nick was shot, Amanda had taken a bullet in the left shoulder while on the job. Maybe this is a conversation worth having after all?

"Outside of your mom, who is left? I mean, I know you won't even consider your dad. How about Sonya?" Amanda suggests, referring to Nick's younger sister.

Nick shoots down this idea too. "She's in California. She couldn't make quick medical decisions from so far away."

"Who's left then?"

"That's what I want to talk about." Nick takes a deep breath. "I was hoping that you would consider being my medical power of attorney."

Amanda swallows hard and her throat tightens. This isn't fair. Why is Nick laying this on her? She wants to say _fuck off_ in the nicest way possible, but instead she says, "You can't be serious?" I'm not even family."

Nick is quick with an answer…almost _too_ quick. "I know, but I trust you."

Amanda shakes her head forcefully and says, "Being someone's medical power of attorney is a monumental responsibility. If something serious happened to you, I don't know if I could think straight enough to sign forms or to speak coherently with a doctor."

"You wouldn't have to. I would set out what I would want done in various medical situations and you would just make sure that my directives are carried out." Amanda looks doubtful but Nick soldiers on. "I brought a Health Care Proxy form that I want you to take a look at." Before Amanda can protest again, Nick takes several pieces of folded A4 paper from his coat pocket and slides them across the table to Amanda who quickly slides them back to Nick without unfolding them. Amanda emphatically shakes her head from side to side and folds her arms across her chest. She doesn't want _any_ part in this.

"We're not married let alone in a common law marriage. Don't you think that your mother would be pissed off to find out that one of your co-workers has more control over her son's life than she does?"

Nick hasn't given that angle much thought. His mother's feelings _would_ undoubtedly be hurt. But then again, Cesaria hadn't stood by his side when he had needed her support the most. Besides, Amanda is _more_ than just a co-worker to him, even if they aren't really dating anymore. Still, Amanda has a point. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. Your mother has never met me. She'd probably take me to court just to have your decision nullified."

"She wouldn't do that."

"You don't know that. Do you remember the Terry Shiavo case? And her parents were fighting her _husband_."

Nick knows that Amanda's concerns are valid but he is sure that this is what he wants. "Then, we make it air tight. My mom wouldn't be able to contest the form even if she bribed the judge."

Amanda is annoyed that Nick is still so at odds with his mother. "You really are still angry at your mother, aren't you? Nick…let it go."

Nick lets Amanda's words sink in. He pulls his eyes away from his friend and stares down at the surface of her kitchen table blankly. "I'm not angry, Amanda. I'm just disappointed."

Nick's voice sounds small and far away to Amanda, even though he is sitting within arm's reach of her. She does sympathize with Nick but his disappointments aren't her problem. "I'm sorry. I can't do it," she says resolutely.

A silence falls between them. It appears that they are at a stalemate. "Excuse me, I'll be back in a second." Nick stands up and makes his way to the bathroom.

When her visitor shuts the bathroom door behind him, Amanda begins to think about her own shooting. What if that bullet had landed somewhere other than her shoulder? What if she hadn't been so lucky? What if she wouldn't have been able to make decisions and sign forms for herself? Who would she trust enough to speak for her if she couldn't speak for herself? Her mother? Amanda knows that her mom loves her, but she's an overly emotional alcoholic with poor judgement. Her dead-beat sister, Kim, who cleaned out her apartment? Not a chance. Amanda hasn't seen her dad since she was twelve years old, so clearly he is not an option. Who then?

 _Who?_

 _Now_ Amanda understands why Nick came to her with those forms tonight. He is in the same messed up situation that she is. Amanda's heart begins to beat faster as she takes in the full significance of Nick's request. Who would _she_ trust if the roles were reversed? Nick– _without a doubt_ , she trusts Nick. He isn't her husband and even though they are sleeping together, he isn't her boyfriend. But he _is_ a friend…a _very_ close friend who she trusts with her life. Nick would do the right thing if push came to shove. Nick would respect her choices and would make sure that she was cared for in accordance with her wishes.

Amanda hears the toilet flush and in a few moments, Nick is back in the kitchen.

"Sorry to bring you down. Let's just eat." Nick reaches into a cabinet for plates.

"Nick, I'll do it. I'll sign the forms."

Nick spins around and looks at Amanda with surprise. "Really?"

"Yes," Amanda says firmly. "But I will only sign them on one condition."

"What is that?"

"You do the _same_ for me."


End file.
